I Thought Failure Was Just a Way of Life. Then One Conversation Changed Everything.

When René Rodriguez recently asked in our group chat, “How do you deal with failure?” it struck a chord.

Failure is a topic we all nod along to—until we’re in the thick of it.

For me, failure wasn’t some abstract concept. It was a front-row seat to life imploding… over and over again.

I grew up watching my dad struggle—at home, in business, and in relationships. I watched how failure showed up in his life, and how it often ended with a drink. Subconsciously, I adopted that script. I didn’t even realize it until much later.

For a long time, I thought that was normal.

That was just how you dealt with failure.

But when I was 28, something shifted.

A man named Robert Martinez stepped in where my dad had left off. Robert wasn’t just a mentor—he was a model of the mindset I had never been exposed to before.

He told me something simple that changed the trajectory of my life:

“Eli, we never fail. We win or we learn.”

Yeah, I’d heard the quote before. You probably have too.

But when you’ve lived under the weight of failure, really lived in it, and someone tells you there’s another way to see it?

That’s not a motivational quote anymore. That’s a lifeline.

Today, I try to approach failure with a different lens.

If something doesn’t go the way I planned, I pause.

• What’s the lesson here?
• Do I have the tools to do it better next time?
• Should I even be doing this at all?
• Is this something I need to delegate… or let go of completely?

Sometimes, the answer is a clear next step.

Other times, the answer is, “This isn’t for me.”

Both are wins.

It’s easy to glorify failure from a distance. It’s harder to face it up close, with honesty and humility.

But Robert gave me something that day: a mindset upgrade. And it’s one I try to pay forward in how I lead and serve others now.

So, how do I deal with failure?

I learn from it.

I reframe it.

And I keep moving—with a little more wisdom than I had yesterday.

-Eli Torres, eXp Realty Puerto Rico Country Leader